Love love love this exploration friend. I carry a Rupert Spira quote around with me, and it mirrors what you’re sharing here and feels like the truest encapsulation of my own experience of physical suffering.
“When suffering is welcomed so completely that there is not the slightest resistance to it, what we were seeking, by trying to get rid of it, is revealed at its heart.”
Thank you so much for this feedback!!! I really needed to hear this today 💗🙏
And many thanks for this perfect quote by Rupert Spira (I've only recently became aware of him because you recommended him elsewhere, and am planning to read my way into his work)
"When suffering is welcomed so completely ... what we were seeking, ... is revealed at its heart." That is exactly my experience!
I need to read this again. I'm very interested in the differences between Inner Guardian (intuition?) and intellect. Wouldn't you say that one informs the other, and vice versa? It's been my belief (a dangerous word in my opinion, for a lot of reasons) that they are intertwined, that gut feelings are more an result of past experience and intellect. Either way, I'm loving your discourse; it brings me back to school and I tend to have a couple dictionaries open when I read your letters, which excites my brain.
absolutely. All vital Faculties influence each other in different ways. The Inner Guardian (Intuition) has access to 'instant inner knowing' (probably from past personal + ancestral history). The job of the Inner Expert (Intellect) is to digest and process information and make assessments in the present. So when we receive a 'gut-feeling' or hold a belief, we can still choose whether to follow/ trust that form of knowing.
Trusting belongs in the domain of the Inner Guardian, so even if the inner knowing (belief, gut-feeling or whatever) is a red herring, it is still good practice to trust the Intuition, simply as a matter of learning to communicate with her.
What we commonly call 'intuition' can also easily be confused with 'wishful thinking', which is a blend of Intellect and Will (+ perhaps a bit of Imagination thrown into the mix).
The Noctarine map offers an opportunity to gain clarity about what's really going on in the mindscape.
Thank you so much for reading (accepting the challenge!) and your very valuable feedback, Tim 💛 🙏 ✨
I love this wild belief exercise. "I believe IN... (the thing I have long attributed to outside forces which in actuality is co-created and invited into my life by forces within myself)." So powerful!
Thank you so much, Joe for checking in and adding your valuable perspective 🙏
The replacement of 'that' by 'in' is indeed like throwing a little something explosive into the inner soil... Once this lands in the bright light of awareness we can work with it...
The idea of conscious and unconscious as not separate or on a scaffold, I believe, is a big breakthrough. And if we're super-aware, I think there are moments when we can witness both players acting out on center stage.
Oh yeah! Thank you for picking up on this!!! I'm thinking of a 'consciousness researcher' who cheerfully told his audience that he was 'unconscious' while under anæsthesia, and 'regained consciousness' after an operation. The guy must have been oblivious to the countless reports of people sharing that they witnessed and could recall many details of what happened and was said in the room where they were lying either anæsthesized or in a coma. 'Consciousness researchers' regularly claim that they are 'unconscious' when they go to sleep. As if 'consciousness' just gets switched off. As if dreaming (for example) has nothing to do with 'consciousness'. I suggest to call them 'brain researchers' instead (although even brain activity doesn't switch off when people are asleep or in a coma).
The super-awareness you are mentioning is really interesting! Yes, that's my experience too. I believe the so-called 'conscious' and 'unconscious' or 'subconscious' (in psychology jargon) are continuously in communication with each other. I prefer to use the words 'aware' and 'unaware' for these states. 💗🙏
What an amazing article, digging into the subject of beliefs, belief-systems, and wild beliefs that require our understanding-through-witnessing-presence in order to open up a space for healing. In all the books and talks I have read/heard in the field of popular psychology, 'self-improvement' and healing/integrating trauma - few come close to the originality, depth, and coherence of this posting.
The switch from "I believe that ..." to "I believe in ..." sounds simple enough but opens up a much more comprehensive understanding of the NSE than it would appear at first. Giving the NSE loving Attention to tell its story is very different from an arm-twisting INtention to make something come true, to get something we want, to 'rewire the brain', to 'reprogram the mind'. This Synchronosophy act of respecting NSEs and 'walking for a mile in their moccasins' is a precious, noble, courageous and vital necessity if we are to understand/ integrate our past pains - and so be 'upgraded' to live a more consciously aware life. Great writing; great insights, greatly articulated.
Thank you so much for rooting for the wild beliefs!! ~ these ‘shady characters’ ~ some of the most misunderstood immature creatures populating the inner wilderness…
Such a glowing seal of approval ~ coming from someone who has ‘walked many a mile in their moccasins’ over the past 2 + decades ~ your words are pure golden nectar for the soul of Synchronosophy (and my creative daimon) 💛 🙏 🐝 ✨
I had to teach all weekend. I didn’t have a chance to get through this more than once. I love the sound and the taste so far. I will lean into this a bunch now that I’m home!
I lived life spontaneously therefor I made many mistakes. I didn’t cogitate on my mistakes, continuing to make more.
Now as a mature intuitive woman who has done her inner work I realize how wonderful it was that I made so many mistakes. I have an abundance of experiences and I don’t have one memory that can trigger me.
I believe only in things containing love. If there is no love involved I don’t belive it’s wise to trust it. Love is my entire belief system. I don’t anticipate never being disappointed by things or those I love. I simply understand that through love it will find a way to work it out.
I trust myself and find that my first response to something positive or negative is usually dead on! Trust yourself or it’s difficult to trust anyone else.
Thanks Veronica for continually inspiring me to think or maybe just intuite.
Thank you so much for reading and responding to this chapter, Sammie. 🧡 🙏 I am especially grateful for your feedback at this deep experiential level ~ from the lived experience of a lifetime.
"I don’t have one memory that can trigger me." ~ that is truly impressive!
Not many people can say this (I'm not one of them! There are still memories of domestic abuse that may trigger me and cause spontaneous dissociation... but it's getting better.)
I agree that Intuition and beliefs are related to trust. I love that you say "Love is my entire belief system."
But I know many people (including myself) who carry negative self-beliefs inside the inner mindscape. Like others, I also wish they weren't there. But we can only work with what lives inside us. And if there are negative self-destructive beliefs, we better accept and trust them too ~ so I've learned. We may not love them, or even like them, but we have to learn to love them. Our love is nurturing their development into their own mature version of themselves.
I love your 'simple understanding' that "through love it will find a way to work it out."
Trusting your intuition is so important, and your sharing of your experience is inspiring!
When we can learn to love those negative self-beliefs into wholeness and maturity, we're on to a winner, tapping into one of the most powerful inner resources. To trusting love, even when it's hard 🔥🙏
I had a near death experience 14 years ago. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I would not, or I don’t think I would be who I am now. Of course it was devastating to let go of my identity and accept leaving my loved ones but I did.
I was sleeping in the closet so my husband wouldn’t wake and find me dead, some ghastly open mouth dead eyed person lying next to him. I had begun the rapid breathing, coma like stage where we do a life review when I heard a voice telling me to stop it already. I don’t know whose voice it was but I paid attention. I came here with a purpose, which I always knew, and I had not completed it. I also had a granddaughter, an infant at that time. I was inspired to know her and this was part of the message I heard. It was important that she had an opportunity to know me and be influenced by who her grandmother is.
I didn’t jump up and come alive but I did wake. I spent at least 5 years recovering unable to say anything for almost a year. Then I barely could articulate anything sensible. For a couple of years I stuttered terribly and was so embarrassed that I just didn’t speak much. My family thought I had brain damage so they didn’t actually have great expectations. I am blessed with supportive, patient, loving family.
This has been a long journey and I had much time to do my shadow work and I did indeed cry nonstop for at least a year. I had many health issues and I stopped seeing doctors. I had retired after being a RN administrator, OR nurse and most every other area I could use my skills. I knew I would never be well if I stayed In allopathic care. So I became my own healer and I studied natural, homeopathic medicine relentlessly, obsessively and still do. This is how I recovered. I am healthy now and I know how the body, mind and spirit work, or how mine works. I help others in any and every way possible but I can’t do much for my own family as I completely educated them on the benefits of allopathy. I can’t be very agitated about with them for believing their doctors.
I’m sorry to go on so long but I did want to share how I am able to say “ there is nothing to trigger me”, it’s a high price I paid to accomplish this. I had many memories of significant abuse and trauma. This is why I know my near death ( not out of body) was my blessing. I know it was part of how I was assisted so I can complete my life purpose which is to remember who I am and heal our ancestral trauma. I’m remembering a bit of past lives but they feel so different than remembering when I was 16, or 45. I’m 74 but I’m not old in any way. I have a body that’s 74 years old. I am perhaps only as about 15 years old with the depth of understanding one gains in a 74 year old body.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story, Sammie! Nothing to be sorry about ~ what an incredible experience to live through!!
I have been thinking about your comment "there is nothing to trigger me" too, and guessed something profound must have happened and was hidden behind such a statement. It is through these deep and scary portals of life that we transform and become more 'accomplished versions' of ourselves.
I understand how such a 'metamorphosis' comes about and how a near death turns into a blessing (having gone through my own variation on this human journey).
I also get the gist of 'nothing to trigger me' in reference to what perhaps used to trigger you in the past, because of a fundamentally changed perspective which instigated a shift of what is important in life...
At the same time it made me wonder about the fuller meaning of 'nothing to trigger me'...
Like you, I am no longer 'triggered' by things that might have 'triggered' me in the past. On the other hand, I experience 'alarm bells going off' much easier in situations, which I probably wouldn't have noticed in the past. Therefore, I would say that in some ways I get 'triggered' much easier by smaller things, due to a heightened sensitivity. (I have always been highly sensitive by nature, but after my 'near death experience by domestic violence' and the resulting post traumatic transformation I respond to triggers much more readily).
I also get 'triggered' easily by the suffering of others, as well as collective suffering on a global scale (nothing new really), and I'm not sure whether those triggers will ever 'go away'...
In this sense, I see my response to triggers as a good thing. And I'm wondering how you (as a fellow highly sensitive human) experience this level of interacting with everyday life, and what your perspective is on getting triggered (or not?) in these contexts. I am genuinely interested in your personal experience of this, Sammie! (if you'd like to share it)
I should correct my statement by saying nothing in my past can trigger me. Yes, I am more triggered by what I see and feel being done to others, openly. I feel more for the damage done and feel great anguish for what they must endure. While I have lived a long life and given the circumstances to eliminate the suffering, many will not. I’m more upset by how obvious it is that people especially children are suffering unthinkable abuse. It’s beyond abuse.
I’m more sensitive to the outcome of what is being done on so many levels. So yes I’m triggered by the now. I let go of the past and try to stay out of the future but the now is quite triggering.
Thank you for specifying and sharing this. It makes me feel more 'normal'. 🤔💭
If the goal is set at 'never to be triggered' it is easy to fall into yet another trap... The destination of this journey is towards healing and wholeness. Listening to your words (and the silences in between) I can hear your unique journeysong coming from profound life experiences.
Hi Veronika, the quote and first paragraph had me sitting up to attention. l have recently had some direction from ‘the team’ about pain and suffering and having spent all day yesterday writing the draft of my next post, which again brings up pain and suffering, specifically around the event of John’s death. So, what l say about it, is with out any of the thoroughness or research you undertake. There is so much on offer here, to see what speaks to my context and circumstances more broadly, re trauma related pain and suffering. Thank you 🙏💚. ‘Suffering and bewilderment’, that brain fog existing when the brain-mind finds it needs to compartmentalise to manage. Is that suffering? I can relate to the idea that understanding can relieve suffering in my context, and l guess l am saying that around my experience that suffering can be trapped pain, and in its acceptance that it will come again and again, and its energetic release, the suffering is gone because it isn’t stuck and festering. The pain cycles around when she needs to. That doesn’t mean all my suffering is gone, l guess it has developed as a way to process pain. I love the association of lingering and dwelling as aspects of understanding, and the point you make about developing … standing in the presence, speaks to me about processes we might each take to understand? Intellectual and intuition make mistakes because of our human brain filter, our context, our beliefs. I also relate to your point about self-sabotaging beliefs being related to unprocessed traumatic experience, this directly relates to my inner child recovery, as l call it. I have a few “wild beliefs”, and l figure a large part of my writing is tending the inner landscapes, the trauma around John and losing him opened to old wounds - l am ‘going gently into the wild night’. It’s taking a while and that’s ok, any sense of urgency is gone now. Hope this makes sense? Thank you for all that you research and offer in your writing. Of course, l will need to keep coming back. Simone 💚🙏☺️
Thank you so very much for your detailed response Simone, which no doubt is painful, and therefore courageous! I truly appreciate your perspective and sharing your experience here 🧡 🙏
»‘Suffering and bewilderment’, that brain fog existing when the brain-mind finds it needs to compartmentalise to manage. Is that suffering?« ~ I would say "Yes, it is." Any incoherence reflects a certain degree of suffering.
»suffering can be trapped pain, and in its acceptance that it will come again and again, and its energetic release, the suffering is gone because it isn’t stuck and festering. The pain cycles around when she needs to. That doesn’t mean all my suffering is gone, l guess it has developed as a way to process pain.« ~ I love how your describe this cyclical movement of suffering. 'in its acceptance that it will come again...' This is my experience too.
This means that as we 'process' our way through our suffering ~ one agonising step at a time ~ we are in a way staying in the presence of the suffering, lingering and dwelling in the process. It doesn't necessarily mean we have to stand still. Because the pain is moving, we can move with it.
Oh yes, I can well imagine how 'losing John opened old wounds', as you say. How could it not?!
We have been 'sold models of healing' where we are supposed to 'get rid of the pain once and for all. and from there ride into an imaginary sunset of a golden future'. That hasn't been my experience, and it hasn't been yours. What I am offering here is an alternative path to healing which is a lot more real and authentic, based on the gift of the Noctarine I received all those (25+) years ago. I am deeply grateful that this work of transformation speaks to you 🔥🙏
Thanks for your understanding Veronika, and for the clarity. I can see how an incoherence suggests there is a degree of suffering, and sometimes it is not always apparent where exactly it is stemming from given that we have our bodily response, and mind, and the cyclic nature of emotions — that's what makes us human. I can feel the pain of my childhood trauma, and I do understand its circumstances now — and how it shaped me and showed itself in other life events. In that regard there is a release of suffering for me in that I am able to understand and nurture the wounded child aspect. She knows she is safe now, so her vulnerability is protected by my self. And I am still working on shifting those energies and patterns that haven't served my family well. I totally agree with you re society selling us models of healing, the expectation that we fix it, is emotional and spiritual bypassing. The Noctarine certainly resonates and speaks to me. Thank you💜🙏
Love love love this exploration friend. I carry a Rupert Spira quote around with me, and it mirrors what you’re sharing here and feels like the truest encapsulation of my own experience of physical suffering.
“When suffering is welcomed so completely that there is not the slightest resistance to it, what we were seeking, by trying to get rid of it, is revealed at its heart.”
Thank you so much for this feedback!!! I really needed to hear this today 💗🙏
And many thanks for this perfect quote by Rupert Spira (I've only recently became aware of him because you recommended him elsewhere, and am planning to read my way into his work)
"When suffering is welcomed so completely ... what we were seeking, ... is revealed at its heart." That is exactly my experience!
I need to read this again. I'm very interested in the differences between Inner Guardian (intuition?) and intellect. Wouldn't you say that one informs the other, and vice versa? It's been my belief (a dangerous word in my opinion, for a lot of reasons) that they are intertwined, that gut feelings are more an result of past experience and intellect. Either way, I'm loving your discourse; it brings me back to school and I tend to have a couple dictionaries open when I read your letters, which excites my brain.
absolutely. All vital Faculties influence each other in different ways. The Inner Guardian (Intuition) has access to 'instant inner knowing' (probably from past personal + ancestral history). The job of the Inner Expert (Intellect) is to digest and process information and make assessments in the present. So when we receive a 'gut-feeling' or hold a belief, we can still choose whether to follow/ trust that form of knowing.
Trusting belongs in the domain of the Inner Guardian, so even if the inner knowing (belief, gut-feeling or whatever) is a red herring, it is still good practice to trust the Intuition, simply as a matter of learning to communicate with her.
What we commonly call 'intuition' can also easily be confused with 'wishful thinking', which is a blend of Intellect and Will (+ perhaps a bit of Imagination thrown into the mix).
The Noctarine map offers an opportunity to gain clarity about what's really going on in the mindscape.
Thank you so much for reading (accepting the challenge!) and your very valuable feedback, Tim 💛 🙏 ✨
I love this wild belief exercise. "I believe IN... (the thing I have long attributed to outside forces which in actuality is co-created and invited into my life by forces within myself)." So powerful!
Thank you so much, Joe for checking in and adding your valuable perspective 🙏
The replacement of 'that' by 'in' is indeed like throwing a little something explosive into the inner soil... Once this lands in the bright light of awareness we can work with it...
The idea of conscious and unconscious as not separate or on a scaffold, I believe, is a big breakthrough. And if we're super-aware, I think there are moments when we can witness both players acting out on center stage.
Oh yeah! Thank you for picking up on this!!! I'm thinking of a 'consciousness researcher' who cheerfully told his audience that he was 'unconscious' while under anæsthesia, and 'regained consciousness' after an operation. The guy must have been oblivious to the countless reports of people sharing that they witnessed and could recall many details of what happened and was said in the room where they were lying either anæsthesized or in a coma. 'Consciousness researchers' regularly claim that they are 'unconscious' when they go to sleep. As if 'consciousness' just gets switched off. As if dreaming (for example) has nothing to do with 'consciousness'. I suggest to call them 'brain researchers' instead (although even brain activity doesn't switch off when people are asleep or in a coma).
The super-awareness you are mentioning is really interesting! Yes, that's my experience too. I believe the so-called 'conscious' and 'unconscious' or 'subconscious' (in psychology jargon) are continuously in communication with each other. I prefer to use the words 'aware' and 'unaware' for these states. 💗🙏
Hmmm. Interesting. I’ll try to use those terms (aware and unaware) in my speech, too. Thanks!
What an amazing article, digging into the subject of beliefs, belief-systems, and wild beliefs that require our understanding-through-witnessing-presence in order to open up a space for healing. In all the books and talks I have read/heard in the field of popular psychology, 'self-improvement' and healing/integrating trauma - few come close to the originality, depth, and coherence of this posting.
The switch from "I believe that ..." to "I believe in ..." sounds simple enough but opens up a much more comprehensive understanding of the NSE than it would appear at first. Giving the NSE loving Attention to tell its story is very different from an arm-twisting INtention to make something come true, to get something we want, to 'rewire the brain', to 'reprogram the mind'. This Synchronosophy act of respecting NSEs and 'walking for a mile in their moccasins' is a precious, noble, courageous and vital necessity if we are to understand/ integrate our past pains - and so be 'upgraded' to live a more consciously aware life. Great writing; great insights, greatly articulated.
Thank you so much for rooting for the wild beliefs!! ~ these ‘shady characters’ ~ some of the most misunderstood immature creatures populating the inner wilderness…
Such a glowing seal of approval ~ coming from someone who has ‘walked many a mile in their moccasins’ over the past 2 + decades ~ your words are pure golden nectar for the soul of Synchronosophy (and my creative daimon) 💛 🙏 🐝 ✨
I had to teach all weekend. I didn’t have a chance to get through this more than once. I love the sound and the taste so far. I will lean into this a bunch now that I’m home!
I lived life spontaneously therefor I made many mistakes. I didn’t cogitate on my mistakes, continuing to make more.
Now as a mature intuitive woman who has done her inner work I realize how wonderful it was that I made so many mistakes. I have an abundance of experiences and I don’t have one memory that can trigger me.
I believe only in things containing love. If there is no love involved I don’t belive it’s wise to trust it. Love is my entire belief system. I don’t anticipate never being disappointed by things or those I love. I simply understand that through love it will find a way to work it out.
I trust myself and find that my first response to something positive or negative is usually dead on! Trust yourself or it’s difficult to trust anyone else.
Thanks Veronica for continually inspiring me to think or maybe just intuite.
Thank you so much for reading and responding to this chapter, Sammie. 🧡 🙏 I am especially grateful for your feedback at this deep experiential level ~ from the lived experience of a lifetime.
"I don’t have one memory that can trigger me." ~ that is truly impressive!
Not many people can say this (I'm not one of them! There are still memories of domestic abuse that may trigger me and cause spontaneous dissociation... but it's getting better.)
I agree that Intuition and beliefs are related to trust. I love that you say "Love is my entire belief system."
But I know many people (including myself) who carry negative self-beliefs inside the inner mindscape. Like others, I also wish they weren't there. But we can only work with what lives inside us. And if there are negative self-destructive beliefs, we better accept and trust them too ~ so I've learned. We may not love them, or even like them, but we have to learn to love them. Our love is nurturing their development into their own mature version of themselves.
I love your 'simple understanding' that "through love it will find a way to work it out."
Trusting your intuition is so important, and your sharing of your experience is inspiring!
When we can learn to love those negative self-beliefs into wholeness and maturity, we're on to a winner, tapping into one of the most powerful inner resources. To trusting love, even when it's hard 🔥🙏
I had a near death experience 14 years ago. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I would not, or I don’t think I would be who I am now. Of course it was devastating to let go of my identity and accept leaving my loved ones but I did.
I was sleeping in the closet so my husband wouldn’t wake and find me dead, some ghastly open mouth dead eyed person lying next to him. I had begun the rapid breathing, coma like stage where we do a life review when I heard a voice telling me to stop it already. I don’t know whose voice it was but I paid attention. I came here with a purpose, which I always knew, and I had not completed it. I also had a granddaughter, an infant at that time. I was inspired to know her and this was part of the message I heard. It was important that she had an opportunity to know me and be influenced by who her grandmother is.
I didn’t jump up and come alive but I did wake. I spent at least 5 years recovering unable to say anything for almost a year. Then I barely could articulate anything sensible. For a couple of years I stuttered terribly and was so embarrassed that I just didn’t speak much. My family thought I had brain damage so they didn’t actually have great expectations. I am blessed with supportive, patient, loving family.
This has been a long journey and I had much time to do my shadow work and I did indeed cry nonstop for at least a year. I had many health issues and I stopped seeing doctors. I had retired after being a RN administrator, OR nurse and most every other area I could use my skills. I knew I would never be well if I stayed In allopathic care. So I became my own healer and I studied natural, homeopathic medicine relentlessly, obsessively and still do. This is how I recovered. I am healthy now and I know how the body, mind and spirit work, or how mine works. I help others in any and every way possible but I can’t do much for my own family as I completely educated them on the benefits of allopathy. I can’t be very agitated about with them for believing their doctors.
I’m sorry to go on so long but I did want to share how I am able to say “ there is nothing to trigger me”, it’s a high price I paid to accomplish this. I had many memories of significant abuse and trauma. This is why I know my near death ( not out of body) was my blessing. I know it was part of how I was assisted so I can complete my life purpose which is to remember who I am and heal our ancestral trauma. I’m remembering a bit of past lives but they feel so different than remembering when I was 16, or 45. I’m 74 but I’m not old in any way. I have a body that’s 74 years old. I am perhaps only as about 15 years old with the depth of understanding one gains in a 74 year old body.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story, Sammie! Nothing to be sorry about ~ what an incredible experience to live through!!
I have been thinking about your comment "there is nothing to trigger me" too, and guessed something profound must have happened and was hidden behind such a statement. It is through these deep and scary portals of life that we transform and become more 'accomplished versions' of ourselves.
I understand how such a 'metamorphosis' comes about and how a near death turns into a blessing (having gone through my own variation on this human journey).
I also get the gist of 'nothing to trigger me' in reference to what perhaps used to trigger you in the past, because of a fundamentally changed perspective which instigated a shift of what is important in life...
At the same time it made me wonder about the fuller meaning of 'nothing to trigger me'...
Like you, I am no longer 'triggered' by things that might have 'triggered' me in the past. On the other hand, I experience 'alarm bells going off' much easier in situations, which I probably wouldn't have noticed in the past. Therefore, I would say that in some ways I get 'triggered' much easier by smaller things, due to a heightened sensitivity. (I have always been highly sensitive by nature, but after my 'near death experience by domestic violence' and the resulting post traumatic transformation I respond to triggers much more readily).
I also get 'triggered' easily by the suffering of others, as well as collective suffering on a global scale (nothing new really), and I'm not sure whether those triggers will ever 'go away'...
In this sense, I see my response to triggers as a good thing. And I'm wondering how you (as a fellow highly sensitive human) experience this level of interacting with everyday life, and what your perspective is on getting triggered (or not?) in these contexts. I am genuinely interested in your personal experience of this, Sammie! (if you'd like to share it)
I should correct my statement by saying nothing in my past can trigger me. Yes, I am more triggered by what I see and feel being done to others, openly. I feel more for the damage done and feel great anguish for what they must endure. While I have lived a long life and given the circumstances to eliminate the suffering, many will not. I’m more upset by how obvious it is that people especially children are suffering unthinkable abuse. It’s beyond abuse.
I’m more sensitive to the outcome of what is being done on so many levels. So yes I’m triggered by the now. I let go of the past and try to stay out of the future but the now is quite triggering.
Thank you for specifying and sharing this. It makes me feel more 'normal'. 🤔💭
If the goal is set at 'never to be triggered' it is easy to fall into yet another trap... The destination of this journey is towards healing and wholeness. Listening to your words (and the silences in between) I can hear your unique journeysong coming from profound life experiences.
Hi Veronika, the quote and first paragraph had me sitting up to attention. l have recently had some direction from ‘the team’ about pain and suffering and having spent all day yesterday writing the draft of my next post, which again brings up pain and suffering, specifically around the event of John’s death. So, what l say about it, is with out any of the thoroughness or research you undertake. There is so much on offer here, to see what speaks to my context and circumstances more broadly, re trauma related pain and suffering. Thank you 🙏💚. ‘Suffering and bewilderment’, that brain fog existing when the brain-mind finds it needs to compartmentalise to manage. Is that suffering? I can relate to the idea that understanding can relieve suffering in my context, and l guess l am saying that around my experience that suffering can be trapped pain, and in its acceptance that it will come again and again, and its energetic release, the suffering is gone because it isn’t stuck and festering. The pain cycles around when she needs to. That doesn’t mean all my suffering is gone, l guess it has developed as a way to process pain. I love the association of lingering and dwelling as aspects of understanding, and the point you make about developing … standing in the presence, speaks to me about processes we might each take to understand? Intellectual and intuition make mistakes because of our human brain filter, our context, our beliefs. I also relate to your point about self-sabotaging beliefs being related to unprocessed traumatic experience, this directly relates to my inner child recovery, as l call it. I have a few “wild beliefs”, and l figure a large part of my writing is tending the inner landscapes, the trauma around John and losing him opened to old wounds - l am ‘going gently into the wild night’. It’s taking a while and that’s ok, any sense of urgency is gone now. Hope this makes sense? Thank you for all that you research and offer in your writing. Of course, l will need to keep coming back. Simone 💚🙏☺️
Thank you so very much for your detailed response Simone, which no doubt is painful, and therefore courageous! I truly appreciate your perspective and sharing your experience here 🧡 🙏
»‘Suffering and bewilderment’, that brain fog existing when the brain-mind finds it needs to compartmentalise to manage. Is that suffering?« ~ I would say "Yes, it is." Any incoherence reflects a certain degree of suffering.
»suffering can be trapped pain, and in its acceptance that it will come again and again, and its energetic release, the suffering is gone because it isn’t stuck and festering. The pain cycles around when she needs to. That doesn’t mean all my suffering is gone, l guess it has developed as a way to process pain.« ~ I love how your describe this cyclical movement of suffering. 'in its acceptance that it will come again...' This is my experience too.
This means that as we 'process' our way through our suffering ~ one agonising step at a time ~ we are in a way staying in the presence of the suffering, lingering and dwelling in the process. It doesn't necessarily mean we have to stand still. Because the pain is moving, we can move with it.
Oh yes, I can well imagine how 'losing John opened old wounds', as you say. How could it not?!
We have been 'sold models of healing' where we are supposed to 'get rid of the pain once and for all. and from there ride into an imaginary sunset of a golden future'. That hasn't been my experience, and it hasn't been yours. What I am offering here is an alternative path to healing which is a lot more real and authentic, based on the gift of the Noctarine I received all those (25+) years ago. I am deeply grateful that this work of transformation speaks to you 🔥🙏
Thanks for your understanding Veronika, and for the clarity. I can see how an incoherence suggests there is a degree of suffering, and sometimes it is not always apparent where exactly it is stemming from given that we have our bodily response, and mind, and the cyclic nature of emotions — that's what makes us human. I can feel the pain of my childhood trauma, and I do understand its circumstances now — and how it shaped me and showed itself in other life events. In that regard there is a release of suffering for me in that I am able to understand and nurture the wounded child aspect. She knows she is safe now, so her vulnerability is protected by my self. And I am still working on shifting those energies and patterns that haven't served my family well. I totally agree with you re society selling us models of healing, the expectation that we fix it, is emotional and spiritual bypassing. The Noctarine certainly resonates and speaks to me. Thank you💜🙏
wonderful! It makes me very happy to hear this xxx (responding to your last sentence)
Thank you Geraldine for restacking 🔥🙏