“With my SPC giving undivided attention to the experience, I can allow my EIA to follow the emotional discomfort, let the wave pull me out to sea, allow myself to feel the full impact and extent of the pain, dive through the suffering of re-membered trauma.” I feel like you just mapped out, and gave words to, the exact process I went through while learning to live with MdDS. So while you’re speaking about trauma here, I’d say this technique can also be applied to physical pain and dis-ease in the body. It didn’t make my symptoms go away, but for the first time after years of struggle, experiencing both Self-ID and ego-ID simultaneously helped my nervous relax within the symptoms. And this experience then opened the door to developing a lasting, unconditional peace, within whatever circumstance I was in. So wonderful to have a deeper understanding now of what I was doing!
That's such an important observation, Kimberly. Thank You for sharing this! 🙏
Having experienced chronic physical pain, sometimes excruciating and maddening, I have dealt with it in a similar way too. But I never had the ongoing struggle with disease at the level that you describe and accompanied in so many fellow sufferers. So I don't feel I am qualified to really talk and write about this.
Having said that, I have witnessed repeated relief from physical symptoms as a direct result of doing the practices I am describing in this part of the book. The reactions I have seen were very similar to the response of a 'well chosen remedy' (as we call it in homoeopathy), which was of course very exciting to me. Having heard famous homoeopaths talk about the theory of 'giving information homoeopathically' ~ without the administration of a remedy(!) ~ these were the only occasions where I had the opportunity to see it in practice.
Well, first I am humbled to be quoted by you here Veronika. Thank you. The Self will need to pay darned close attention to that darned Ego now ;)
Another exceptional read with so much to consider and allow to sink in.
I very much enjoyed your description of subjective experience which seems very aligned with my feeling that subjective experience is like filtering external impressions through at the habitual shape of ones own emotional architecture, which itself has been shaped by the external impressions fed into it, a kind of feedback system between the self (attention) and the external world (Impression).
I also love your idea that at no point are any of these things ever fixed or atrophied and that it's so important to "remain both detached and connected to how you feel" or kinda pay attention to the attention. Just wonderful.
I also felt great affinity to you saying, “What if the lack of human ability of our ancestors to process their negative experiences has contributed to the escalation of catastrophes on all fronts?” I love this. In The Crow I've been using the symbolism of a fire in the past billowing smoke through the generations into the present, which is essentially the same idea, no? So nice to read other writers expressing similar intuitions and feelings.
And this - "I am simply immersing myself fully in the experience, giving it my full attention, allowing it to rise into my awareness and be whatever it is, listening to the voice of my Inner Healer." Beautifully said.
I think/feel that your approach is a very healthy way of dealing with pain and trauma and just generally life itself. Thank you Veronika, that was a pleasure to read.
Thank you Jonathan. I also feel the alignment between your understanding and mine.
"feeling that subjective experience is like filtering external impressions through at the habitual shape of ones own emotional architecture, which itself has been shaped by the external impressions fed into it, a kind of feedback system between the self (attention) and the external world (Impression)." ~ beautifully said. I love the metaphor of the 'habitual shape of ones emotional architecture'... looped into a feedback system between self and world. We don't (yet) have a common and established language of talking about these things, because we are, as we speak and write, leaving behind the anthropocentric way of thinking, which has influenced, manipulated and shaped our experiences for centuries.
"a fire in the past billowing smoke through the generations into the present." Yes, I can go with that. Once we see ourselves as being part of the ongoing chain of people linked by common ancestry, it becomes easy to have empathy with those elders who maybe 'didn't fulfill our expectations' of what a 'good elder' should be like and do. It certainly helps the healing process of past, presence, and future.
Thank you for the acknowledgment. From experience with this work over the past 25ish years I can confirm that it has been a creative, enjoyable and productive way of dealing with all the stuff life has thrown at me. Healthy is a good word, which I love (I'm only avoiding it because of many non-aligned connotations with 'health' these days...)
I couldn't agree more than with where you say "Once we see ourselves as being part of the ongoing chain of people linked by common ancestry, it becomes easy to have empathy with those elders who maybe 'didn't fulfill our expectations' of what a 'good elder' should be like and do. It certainly helps the healing process of past, presence, and future. - this is also, for me, a strong reminder to not light fires in the present, to be mindful of my own intentions and behaviours.
Considering the idea of a "common and established language of talking about these things," I think we need a metaphorical way of speaking about the opposite too, where love and gentle guardianship of each other travels through time into the future from the past.
And you're right, "healthy" is a clumsy word and I should used something else...I'm rushing pout the door now...but I'll certainly consider you post :) 🙏🏽
"I think we need a metaphorical way of speaking about the opposite too,..."
You are certainly making generous and inspiring contributions to this metaphorical way of speaking about "love and gentle guardianship of each other travelling through time..." for which I am deeply grateful.
I didn't mean to criticise or question your use of the word 'healthy'! I actually agree with what you said that my "approach is a very healthy way of dealing with pain..."
It's just one of the words I'm pondering because they've been appropriated and are currently used to carry explicitly 'unhealthy' meanings (e.g. "mental health"), so it's a kind of trigger word, I haven't quite figured out yet what to do with it...
No criticism felt, Veronika :) So many words need refiguring out, like "Creativity" and "Passion" which now seem like LinkedIn buzz words hollowed of meaning or accuracy 🤣
I read a few of Joshua's poems today, excellent and enjoyable they were. Thanks so much for prompting. Substack really is a wonderful way to encounter writers I'd never otherwise find :)
Yes, that's what I realised when I got into thinking about the Symbiocene (inspired by Glenn Albrecht who coined the word a few years ago). The more 'wordcasts' I write on Symbiopædia, the more I see how our whole language is shaped and appropriated by anthropocentric thinking, and that we need to redefine, recover original identities of words, or can cultivate new ones in the 'wild word woods of symbiopædia', if we want to communicate about some of the things that matter to us.
Now I'm curious, how are 'creativity' and 'passion' used on LinkedIn? I'm not in that network, therefore not aware of their use as buzz words. Is that a new thing?
"our whole language is shaped and appropriated by anthropocentric thinking". Yes, I think Linnaeus has a lot to answer for too, taxonomic thinking is always such a anthropocentrically and systemic misunderstanding of the interconnectedness of things.
Re: LinkedIn, I must admit to not really being anywhere near knowledgeable o that platform, but I've noticed in businessy circles that everyone is always so "passionate" about anything and claims to be so "creative". I find the whole LinkedIn/business thing so cult like in the requirement that everyone flys the same flag words at all times. Most strange.
"When physically present at an event, experiencers assume that witnessing the incident equals experience. This is far from the whole truth."
"Not feeling our own most painful emotions shuts us off from becoming who we most desperately want and need to be."
A wonderful analogy: "Pulling a scab off a wound too early can delay the healing process."
And I LOVE these questions:
"In a world where so many fellow humans are struggling to survive massive manmade or natural catastrophes, are my and your ‘negative experiences’ worth contemplating?"
"What if the lack of human ability of our ancestors to process their negative experiences has contributed to the escalation of catastrophes on all fronts?"
I could almost quote this entire article, and I haven't even gotten to your thoughts on Ego/Self, SPC & EIA,
and then -whomp- there's an entire section on rather than solving for assumptive causation, "Looking for synchronous events". What else is happening? This is where the ability to hold multiple perspectives at once becomes invaluable, and this takes practice to regain. Looking forward to checking out the Kairotrophy pdf.
Wow - many deep bows your way for your synchronous cartography!
Thank you so very much for your deep reading and comprehensive feedback, Eric! I feel especially delighted (and acknowledged) by this resonance echoing from within your own experience (and dare I say synchronosophy ~ wisdom gained from listening to co-incidence)
thank you, THANK YOU 💗🙏💗🙏💗🙏
Because, until the map is seen and its legend read by other explorers, how can the cartographer know whether their charting of triangulation points in the landscape of experience is accurate enough to make sense?
I'm glad you have honed in on the necessity to cultivate being simultaneously a witnesser, and an experiencer, of an event/inner-turbulence - as a key aspect in the world of healing. With 'Ego' and 'Self' properly defined, and their roles clarified, this is a great contribution to our times.
As usual, this is wonderful and there is so much here. I’ve read it a bunch of times and I’ll return to it again. Looking back I’ve always been able to let most things go through me. I’m not sure how. But leaning into this, I start to understand this golden thread that leads the seeker through the labyrinthian maze of their own experience.
Living into the questions:
1st › What happened?
2nd › What was this all about? or › What am I thinking according to my own rational evaluation?
3rd › How do/did I feel when this happens/ed?
4th › What is going on in my Sphere of Fictional Reality (= realm of the Imagination) when I’m feeling like this in my Inner-Ocean Reality (= realm of the Instinct)?
Thanks for sharing. Thanks again for another resource share as well. I’m digesting slow. SPC and EIA. Blessings. 🙏❤️
Thank you Jamie, that's such a great observation. I think some people have this natural gift and do it without being fully aware that they are doing it. I'm not surprised to learn that you have it. The secret, I believe, lies in the ability to live into the questions...
The second secret is finding and asking the right questions.
Digesting slow is good! Thank you for being on this journey 🙏
Reflecting on that comment a bit since I wrote it clarity finds a way to sneak in to the space. I had two 20 year old parents. They did their best. All we could ever ask. What I was also blessed with was a 43-year-old grandfather who had the gift. He lived next-door to me and I somehow the sponge for his time of life, where he was able to start to create meaning and clarity in and of his own. Looking back at old posts he makes appearances in my writing.
And the many blessings of a grandfather next-door, a grandfather who had the gift, no less.
We might carry some of the still raw and festering wounds of our elders (who from some new vantage point begin to look younger than ourselves, at a certain stage in life) and the healing journey takes on a whole new meaning.
I just read your post 'Beyond Ithaca' ~ the title sounded familiar, though I must have missed its publication, coinciding with my early substack days...
What a beautiful, post, Jamie! To experience the journey of Odysseus in such a personal way through the odyssey of generations in your own ancestry is truly special. And very moving to witness.
Hi Veronika, Just so much to say, I don't know where to start. Thank you, I just love this, it so resonates with my own experience and the wisdom that 'my team' offers in my journey of recovery. Yes, 'trauma is a unique personal companion'. Your suggestion that perhaps a 'lack of processing negative emotion', my have something to do with 'escalation of catastrophes' — there is a link. When I started writing on Substack, I didn't realise that the process of writing was crucial to my recovery — this understanding that we are having an emotional journey, driven by events and circumstances, and that our soul — as observer, can aid us in 'translating them into personal wisdom, as you point out. Through my inner work, I have learned to respect the role of ego in our human experience, and in recovering my inner child — I now understand how these two are linked, and in deferring to the loving, yet emotionally detached parent that the soul is, comes the acceptance and surrender — to the all of it. The SPC and EIA mode you introduce here makes so much sense to me. I hope this makes sense .... I have just blurted it out. Of course, I will dive straight back in again and again. Of course I love the surfing metaphor. Thank you so much Veronika. There is the stuff of release and freedom in this. I am off to jump in the surf — literally. Love and gratitude to you 🙏💙🌊💜
I am so glad this resonates with your experience (which is so personal, so we can never really know until we share it and talk about it... always wondering 'am I the only one who has these crazy feelings and thoughts?')
Thank you so much for your sharing and acknowledgement. Yes, the process of writing has been crucial to my unfolding of understanding too. It still is. there is still so much to share and talk about...
Happy surfing! Having lived near the ocean for 13 years (in Cornwall UK) I do miss it. Fortunately, in Portugal we're not too far away ~ a planned visit to our favourite beaches coming up soon.
Hi Veronika, Your writing — its considerations and how you scope the landscapes has certainly helped, from a knowledge sense of course (so much to explore for the mind self), and in an emotionally accepting and safe way (soul self)— so thank you for providing a platform for sharing our richness of being. The writing and learning will continue, this is an eternal endeavour😊 🙏 BTW, the surf was great. Have a great splash in Cornwall. Never been there — my maternal grandfather's line are from there.
“With my SPC giving undivided attention to the experience, I can allow my EIA to follow the emotional discomfort, let the wave pull me out to sea, allow myself to feel the full impact and extent of the pain, dive through the suffering of re-membered trauma.” I feel like you just mapped out, and gave words to, the exact process I went through while learning to live with MdDS. So while you’re speaking about trauma here, I’d say this technique can also be applied to physical pain and dis-ease in the body. It didn’t make my symptoms go away, but for the first time after years of struggle, experiencing both Self-ID and ego-ID simultaneously helped my nervous relax within the symptoms. And this experience then opened the door to developing a lasting, unconditional peace, within whatever circumstance I was in. So wonderful to have a deeper understanding now of what I was doing!
That's such an important observation, Kimberly. Thank You for sharing this! 🙏
Having experienced chronic physical pain, sometimes excruciating and maddening, I have dealt with it in a similar way too. But I never had the ongoing struggle with disease at the level that you describe and accompanied in so many fellow sufferers. So I don't feel I am qualified to really talk and write about this.
Having said that, I have witnessed repeated relief from physical symptoms as a direct result of doing the practices I am describing in this part of the book. The reactions I have seen were very similar to the response of a 'well chosen remedy' (as we call it in homoeopathy), which was of course very exciting to me. Having heard famous homoeopaths talk about the theory of 'giving information homoeopathically' ~ without the administration of a remedy(!) ~ these were the only occasions where I had the opportunity to see it in practice.
Well, first I am humbled to be quoted by you here Veronika. Thank you. The Self will need to pay darned close attention to that darned Ego now ;)
Another exceptional read with so much to consider and allow to sink in.
I very much enjoyed your description of subjective experience which seems very aligned with my feeling that subjective experience is like filtering external impressions through at the habitual shape of ones own emotional architecture, which itself has been shaped by the external impressions fed into it, a kind of feedback system between the self (attention) and the external world (Impression).
I also love your idea that at no point are any of these things ever fixed or atrophied and that it's so important to "remain both detached and connected to how you feel" or kinda pay attention to the attention. Just wonderful.
I also felt great affinity to you saying, “What if the lack of human ability of our ancestors to process their negative experiences has contributed to the escalation of catastrophes on all fronts?” I love this. In The Crow I've been using the symbolism of a fire in the past billowing smoke through the generations into the present, which is essentially the same idea, no? So nice to read other writers expressing similar intuitions and feelings.
And this - "I am simply immersing myself fully in the experience, giving it my full attention, allowing it to rise into my awareness and be whatever it is, listening to the voice of my Inner Healer." Beautifully said.
I think/feel that your approach is a very healthy way of dealing with pain and trauma and just generally life itself. Thank you Veronika, that was a pleasure to read.
Thank you Jonathan. I also feel the alignment between your understanding and mine.
"feeling that subjective experience is like filtering external impressions through at the habitual shape of ones own emotional architecture, which itself has been shaped by the external impressions fed into it, a kind of feedback system between the self (attention) and the external world (Impression)." ~ beautifully said. I love the metaphor of the 'habitual shape of ones emotional architecture'... looped into a feedback system between self and world. We don't (yet) have a common and established language of talking about these things, because we are, as we speak and write, leaving behind the anthropocentric way of thinking, which has influenced, manipulated and shaped our experiences for centuries.
"a fire in the past billowing smoke through the generations into the present." Yes, I can go with that. Once we see ourselves as being part of the ongoing chain of people linked by common ancestry, it becomes easy to have empathy with those elders who maybe 'didn't fulfill our expectations' of what a 'good elder' should be like and do. It certainly helps the healing process of past, presence, and future.
Thank you for the acknowledgment. From experience with this work over the past 25ish years I can confirm that it has been a creative, enjoyable and productive way of dealing with all the stuff life has thrown at me. Healthy is a good word, which I love (I'm only avoiding it because of many non-aligned connotations with 'health' these days...)
I couldn't agree more than with where you say "Once we see ourselves as being part of the ongoing chain of people linked by common ancestry, it becomes easy to have empathy with those elders who maybe 'didn't fulfill our expectations' of what a 'good elder' should be like and do. It certainly helps the healing process of past, presence, and future. - this is also, for me, a strong reminder to not light fires in the present, to be mindful of my own intentions and behaviours.
Considering the idea of a "common and established language of talking about these things," I think we need a metaphorical way of speaking about the opposite too, where love and gentle guardianship of each other travels through time into the future from the past.
And you're right, "healthy" is a clumsy word and I should used something else...I'm rushing pout the door now...but I'll certainly consider you post :) 🙏🏽
"I think we need a metaphorical way of speaking about the opposite too,..."
You are certainly making generous and inspiring contributions to this metaphorical way of speaking about "love and gentle guardianship of each other travelling through time..." for which I am deeply grateful.
I didn't mean to criticise or question your use of the word 'healthy'! I actually agree with what you said that my "approach is a very healthy way of dealing with pain..."
It's just one of the words I'm pondering because they've been appropriated and are currently used to carry explicitly 'unhealthy' meanings (e.g. "mental health"), so it's a kind of trigger word, I haven't quite figured out yet what to do with it...
No criticism felt, Veronika :) So many words need refiguring out, like "Creativity" and "Passion" which now seem like LinkedIn buzz words hollowed of meaning or accuracy 🤣
I read a few of Joshua's poems today, excellent and enjoyable they were. Thanks so much for prompting. Substack really is a wonderful way to encounter writers I'd never otherwise find :)
Yes, that's what I realised when I got into thinking about the Symbiocene (inspired by Glenn Albrecht who coined the word a few years ago). The more 'wordcasts' I write on Symbiopædia, the more I see how our whole language is shaped and appropriated by anthropocentric thinking, and that we need to redefine, recover original identities of words, or can cultivate new ones in the 'wild word woods of symbiopædia', if we want to communicate about some of the things that matter to us.
Now I'm curious, how are 'creativity' and 'passion' used on LinkedIn? I'm not in that network, therefore not aware of their use as buzz words. Is that a new thing?
Apologies for the late reply, Veronika.
"our whole language is shaped and appropriated by anthropocentric thinking". Yes, I think Linnaeus has a lot to answer for too, taxonomic thinking is always such a anthropocentrically and systemic misunderstanding of the interconnectedness of things.
Re: LinkedIn, I must admit to not really being anywhere near knowledgeable o that platform, but I've noticed in businessy circles that everyone is always so "passionate" about anything and claims to be so "creative". I find the whole LinkedIn/business thing so cult like in the requirement that everyone flys the same flag words at all times. Most strange.
This is so much richness in this, Veronika.
From the getgo, these jumped out:
"When physically present at an event, experiencers assume that witnessing the incident equals experience. This is far from the whole truth."
"Not feeling our own most painful emotions shuts us off from becoming who we most desperately want and need to be."
A wonderful analogy: "Pulling a scab off a wound too early can delay the healing process."
And I LOVE these questions:
"In a world where so many fellow humans are struggling to survive massive manmade or natural catastrophes, are my and your ‘negative experiences’ worth contemplating?"
"What if the lack of human ability of our ancestors to process their negative experiences has contributed to the escalation of catastrophes on all fronts?"
I could almost quote this entire article, and I haven't even gotten to your thoughts on Ego/Self, SPC & EIA,
and then -whomp- there's an entire section on rather than solving for assumptive causation, "Looking for synchronous events". What else is happening? This is where the ability to hold multiple perspectives at once becomes invaluable, and this takes practice to regain. Looking forward to checking out the Kairotrophy pdf.
Wow - many deep bows your way for your synchronous cartography!
Thank you so very much for your deep reading and comprehensive feedback, Eric! I feel especially delighted (and acknowledged) by this resonance echoing from within your own experience (and dare I say synchronosophy ~ wisdom gained from listening to co-incidence)
thank you, THANK YOU 💗🙏💗🙏💗🙏
Because, until the map is seen and its legend read by other explorers, how can the cartographer know whether their charting of triangulation points in the landscape of experience is accurate enough to make sense?
I'm glad you have honed in on the necessity to cultivate being simultaneously a witnesser, and an experiencer, of an event/inner-turbulence - as a key aspect in the world of healing. With 'Ego' and 'Self' properly defined, and their roles clarified, this is a great contribution to our times.
Thank you 💗🙏
Yes, these two guys were still waiting in the wings, needing to be introduced somewhere. better sooner than later...
As usual, this is wonderful and there is so much here. I’ve read it a bunch of times and I’ll return to it again. Looking back I’ve always been able to let most things go through me. I’m not sure how. But leaning into this, I start to understand this golden thread that leads the seeker through the labyrinthian maze of their own experience.
Living into the questions:
1st › What happened?
2nd › What was this all about? or › What am I thinking according to my own rational evaluation?
3rd › How do/did I feel when this happens/ed?
4th › What is going on in my Sphere of Fictional Reality (= realm of the Imagination) when I’m feeling like this in my Inner-Ocean Reality (= realm of the Instinct)?
Thanks for sharing. Thanks again for another resource share as well. I’m digesting slow. SPC and EIA. Blessings. 🙏❤️
Thank you Jamie, that's such a great observation. I think some people have this natural gift and do it without being fully aware that they are doing it. I'm not surprised to learn that you have it. The secret, I believe, lies in the ability to live into the questions...
The second secret is finding and asking the right questions.
Digesting slow is good! Thank you for being on this journey 🙏
Reflecting on that comment a bit since I wrote it clarity finds a way to sneak in to the space. I had two 20 year old parents. They did their best. All we could ever ask. What I was also blessed with was a 43-year-old grandfather who had the gift. He lived next-door to me and I somehow the sponge for his time of life, where he was able to start to create meaning and clarity in and of his own. Looking back at old posts he makes appearances in my writing.
“Beyond Ithaca” my gratitude poetic prose.
"They did their best. All we could ever ask."
Indeed!
And the many blessings of a grandfather next-door, a grandfather who had the gift, no less.
We might carry some of the still raw and festering wounds of our elders (who from some new vantage point begin to look younger than ourselves, at a certain stage in life) and the healing journey takes on a whole new meaning.
I just read your post 'Beyond Ithaca' ~ the title sounded familiar, though I must have missed its publication, coinciding with my early substack days...
What a beautiful, post, Jamie! To experience the journey of Odysseus in such a personal way through the odyssey of generations in your own ancestry is truly special. And very moving to witness.
»To sail beyond Ithaca
Beyond the setting sun
past the safe harbour of the Happy Isles
...
Where a new Ithaca awaits you
...
This odyssey of Ithacas
has always been your Queen«
Thank you 💗🙏 🛶
Hi Veronika, Just so much to say, I don't know where to start. Thank you, I just love this, it so resonates with my own experience and the wisdom that 'my team' offers in my journey of recovery. Yes, 'trauma is a unique personal companion'. Your suggestion that perhaps a 'lack of processing negative emotion', my have something to do with 'escalation of catastrophes' — there is a link. When I started writing on Substack, I didn't realise that the process of writing was crucial to my recovery — this understanding that we are having an emotional journey, driven by events and circumstances, and that our soul — as observer, can aid us in 'translating them into personal wisdom, as you point out. Through my inner work, I have learned to respect the role of ego in our human experience, and in recovering my inner child — I now understand how these two are linked, and in deferring to the loving, yet emotionally detached parent that the soul is, comes the acceptance and surrender — to the all of it. The SPC and EIA mode you introduce here makes so much sense to me. I hope this makes sense .... I have just blurted it out. Of course, I will dive straight back in again and again. Of course I love the surfing metaphor. Thank you so much Veronika. There is the stuff of release and freedom in this. I am off to jump in the surf — literally. Love and gratitude to you 🙏💙🌊💜
I am so glad this resonates with your experience (which is so personal, so we can never really know until we share it and talk about it... always wondering 'am I the only one who has these crazy feelings and thoughts?')
Thank you so much for your sharing and acknowledgement. Yes, the process of writing has been crucial to my unfolding of understanding too. It still is. there is still so much to share and talk about...
Happy surfing! Having lived near the ocean for 13 years (in Cornwall UK) I do miss it. Fortunately, in Portugal we're not too far away ~ a planned visit to our favourite beaches coming up soon.
Hi Veronika, Your writing — its considerations and how you scope the landscapes has certainly helped, from a knowledge sense of course (so much to explore for the mind self), and in an emotionally accepting and safe way (soul self)— so thank you for providing a platform for sharing our richness of being. The writing and learning will continue, this is an eternal endeavour😊 🙏 BTW, the surf was great. Have a great splash in Cornwall. Never been there — my maternal grandfather's line are from there.
well-worth the read
all true in my own direct experience
i love you so .... enjoy in joy
Thank you Christine! That's so good to know xx